As usual, time has slipped away from me and I’ve been slacking on my ‘So What Wednesday’ posts, but today I’m prepared! It must be the ‘Red Bull’ and poprocks I had this morning! This week I’m saying so what to A LOT but here are some of the things that are blog “appropriate”! And honestly, is my blog ever really ‘appropriate’? 
So what that Robin Thicke’s song ‘Blurred Lines’ is my new favorite Summer song? I don’t even know what it means! It can’t be worse than LAST Summer when ‘Whistle’ was my favorite song and I posted it all over FB. Nothing like my 70 year old “Aunt-in-law” in-boxing me that the song is about a blow job!” Wha-wha-WHAAAAT?!?!?!?! No wonder no one dared to “like” it any of the 37 times I posted the youtube video on my facebook page!! Everyone apparently went all “after school special” on me. Not me, not now!
In hindsight, I probably should have actually “watched” the video more closely!
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So what that I’m 34 years old, ‘somewhat’ intelligent’ (or I thought I was) and just recently realized that “at least” is two words!! I mainly realized this because facebook is now kind enough to spell check for me. If only they also proofread my statuses and said things such as:
“No way girl! It’s 3am. This status makes no sense. CLEARLY……… you’re drunk. Your account is now locked until 9:00am!”
So WHAT about the Kardashian baby?!? The media keeps talking about her like she’s 6lb. 8oz. infant baby Jesus. She’s a baby. She was healthy and that’s wonderful. Congrats to Kim and what’s his name. However, she’s now home eating and pooping for a Nanny in her nursery suite. I’m so tired of reading “oooooh, what did they name her?” I don’t care if she’s North West, South West, Mae West, or named after a fruit tree. I think we have more important things going on in our country for the media to focus on! The economy, healthcare…….the premiere of Teen Mom3. Let’s prioritize people!
So what that it’s only the first week of Summer vacation and I literally asked someone in the check-out line at Target today if Summer is almost over? I of course asked this while my kids were arguing, begging for tic-tacs, and generally driving me right up a tree.
So what that my cat Zeus is currently glaring at me as though he can’t wait for me to fall asleep tonight so he can poop in my shoes. APPARENTLY holding him up to the mirror and asking “Who’s that pretty kitty?” is FROWNED UPON in this establishment. So noted Zeus-bag. My bad.
So what that the new country song ‘I Drive Your Truck’ just came on as I’m typing this and it makes me cry like an idiot. This post is set to self-destruct in 4….3….2….poof! I don’t cry!
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So what if the first thing my girls do when they play restaurant is bring me a beer? I realize it may look bad, but how can I resist when they bring it to me and say “Audrey, table of one!” I could never ask them to return it to the fridge. That would just be wrong and unkind of me! So really, I occasionally drink a beer at 2:00 in the afternoon as a benefit to my children and in the spirit of playing ‘Restaurant’ with them.
So what if my girls new favorite program is ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ and they now critique everything I make for dinner with an accent and a rating? It’s a wonderful way for them to work on their vocabularies, as I was informed last night that dinner was “somewhat generic and something they would expect from The Olive Garden. Now get the Hell out!” Very funny girls, very funny. Now eat your dinner!
So what that I lost two hours of my life that I’ll never get back dealing with “loose tooth drama” last night. Good golly Miss Molly!!! THAT was ridiculous!! Pull it! Don’t pull it! I’m scared! Pull it! Don’t pull it! I remained loving and patient the entire time, however. My heart truly did go out to her. Wiggly teeth creep me out!!! Just when I was about to lose my marbles with the crying, I caught her sitting on the bathroom counter “praying to God” that her tooth would fall out. Or that he would send her a shooting star to wish on so that she could wish for her tooth to fall out. How adorable is that? And by the way kiddo, next time you’re praying to God, let’s ask him to see that someone leaves a bottle of wine on the porch for Mommy!
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