Over the past year, many of us have fallen in love with ‘Sweet Brown’, the un-mistakable lady who colorfully describes for a local news station the realization that her apartment complex was on fire. Here’s a clip in case you’re not familiar. I love this lady!
As she adamantly proclaims “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”, I got to thinking. WHY does nobody have time for that? Well allow me to tell you because I know the answer!! NOBODY doesn’t have time for bronchitis or NOTHIN’ because good ol’ NOBODY is way too busy doing $hit at my house!!
“Who left the markers out?”
“Why is there playdoh in the sink?”
“Who forgot to flush the toilet?”
“Whose turn is it to fill the cats water bowl?”
“Who cut the cats fur?”
“Whose night is it to do the dishes?”
“Whose toothbrush is in the sink?”
“Why is the school calling me?”
“Whose bike got left in the driveway?”
“Who called Grandma and asked if her refrigerator is running?”
“Who told Daddy about our fender-bender?”
“Who farted?”
“Who set the DVR to cancel “My Big Fat WHATEVER” and record “Meerkat Manor” re-runs 18 times in it’s place?”
“Who threw ‘My Little Pony’s’ out the upstairs window with kleenex tied to them as parachutes?”
“Who video’d Simba (the cat) taking a poop with the Leap Pad Explorer?”
“Who marked how tall they are, how tall they WERE, and how tall they are GOING to be in magic marker on the living room wall?”
In case you haven’t guessed, the answer to each of these questions is NOBODY. Or “I don’t know!” Or my personal favorite, the word that’s not really a word, more like a sound that MEANS “I don’t know”. I don’t do it justice, but it’s the “Nnnn-uh-nnnn” noise that kids make when they give you a half-a$$ed answer in passing while whizzing through the kitchen at mach-10!
That nobody, he’s a really busy guy. Most of the things I listed above, he did YESTERDAY. Give that guy a raise because he’s THAT GOOD! I don’t get half as much accomplished as nobody does at my house!
I wonder what would happen if “Nobody” made dinner for us tonight? We’d order pizza, that’s what would happen!! 
